I need people to stop telling me to go to school and that I’m wasting my life away. I know that I’m a waste of space and that I have nothing going for me. I know that I will never amount to anything. I rarely leave my bedroom aside from going to work or to the occasional outing with my one friend. I don’t even know why I have a job. The position I hold can easily go to someone who actually needs it. What do I spend money on? I buy clothes that sit in my closet and gather dust because I never wear them. Why would I need to, I don’t go anywhere. I have a phone that I don’t talk to anyone on. I check my social media, but I don’t even have many followers on them. No one gives a fuck.
I need to stop feeling so lonely. There’s nothing worse that waking up in the morning and dreading having to leave my house. Even worse than that is knowing that I have to have small talk with people at work. Holding back telling people that you want to die every time they ask how you are is actually really hard. Things are so bad that I don’t even know how to talk to people anymore. I can’t hold even the simplest conversation.
I need a different health problem. Anything would be better than the one I have.