I’m so sick of the way I feel all the time. It’s so exhausting trying to hide the fact that I’m in so much pain. I come off as cold or emotionless when I don’t mean to, and I’m genuinely apologetic to everyone who has to deal with me. I know that people put up with me because they don’t want to feel guilty if I were to end it all. The people who used to be in my life are so happy that I’ve distanced myself so far from them because the pressure is off.
I just hope that if I lose control, the people who have stuck around thus far don’t blame themselves.